Alpharetta, GA – Giggling at the bartender pointing out that she spilled some of her vodka-Red Bull on her wedding dress, newly single Trisha Gaynz explained that she left her now ex-fiancé, Jay Geewentworth at the altar a few minutes prior, because she realized she only like-liked him. “I just didn’t think I could marry him if I didn’t love him, even if he did check off every single other box,” said Ms. Gaynz as Mr. Geewentworth arrived at the bar, panting. After explaining her reason for deserting him was that she, “likes (him) but not in that way.” Mr. Geewentworth responded with a mix of indignation and anger, “we’ve been together for 15 years and you’re pregnant with my unborn child,” he yelled. When he asked for an explanation of why she continued the relationship if she didn’t love him, she responded, “I like being exclusively intimate with you, sharing details I haven’t told anyone else, spending time with just you, living with you, shitting on my family with you, expressing my everlasting care for you, holding hands, planning a life together, and being vulnerable with you.” Mr. Geewentworth yelled, “that’s love,” which elicited a, “I never said that , man. You’re drawing conclusions that aren’t there,” from her. At press time, it was reported that in the three weeks after their engagement fell apart, Ms. Gaynz claims to have fallen in love with a long-haul truck driver who had yet to learn her name, and Mr. Geewentworth was in surgery for tear duct replacement surgery, as his had, “been all used up.”
